My Grandmother

What an amazing woman!! Alice Flickinger Schenk. I wish I knew more of the details of her early life. I am blessed to have a copy of a small book that she wrote about life in the Badlands of South Dakota. Tracking her genealogy has been fun. We lived in a duplex of sorts, with my grandparents upstairs and my family downstairs. If I'd done something wrong you could generally find me hiding under my grandmother's apron. She used to give me rides on her carpet sweeper and kept a record of my height on the knotty pine wall of her breakfast nook. She fed the squirrels from the window there and more than once my father was called to help an errant squirrel back out side. She told me I had short stubby hands that were made for work and handed me a duster.

She wrote poetry and music and books; drank a small glass of red wine at bedtime; and lived into her 90s. While cleaning my scrapbook room (although it's so messy it's hard to determine it's a space) I came across one of her poems:

"Give Me a Friend"

Give me a friend, just one good friend,
to walk along the way.
A friend who cares, a friend who shares
my joys and sorrows too.
Give me a friend, just one good friend,
who stays when the road is rough,
And the hills are steep and dark clouds
roll in before the sun breaks through.
Give me a friend, just one good friend,
and I'll be satisfied.

She was truly a jewel. Thanks to all my friends who have walked with me along the way.

Nothing like a trip to Laredo

to spur on your shopping urges. No, we didn't cross the border, although from the looks of things the bridge into Mexico was crowded. Seven of us braved terrorist warnings and took a van on the the three-hour trip south of San Antonio. Our designated driver was superb. She endured six other chatty, laughing women; rain and fog. We mad an early stop at a pottery store and bought enough to fill the van. Undeterred, we moved on to a hearty lunch in order to keep up our stamina. Jewelry was the next targeted purchase. And, a fine job we did. Then the iron works where we were able to fit a huge pink flamingo and iron circle into non-existent space. We looked like clowns at the circus emerging from a VW bug. The great thing was that although we knew each other at the start not all of us were close friends. Nothing creates a bond like shopping, though, and when we returned, we joined the husbands (who came to unload the van) for a glass of wine and to toast a successful adventure. Why is it that men haven't caught on to the value of "boyfriends" like we have "girlfriends." Their loss. Here's to girlfriends.

Sometimes your best friend . . .

turns out to be your daughter.
This year Joe gave Maggie and me a five-day trip to Ireland. Left lane driving, Guinness, Irishmen, mussels, and the love of my daughter, . . . could there be a better gift? We landed at Shannon on Wed morning and left from Dublin on Sun. In between was magic. Maggie served as navigator (she is blessed with a keen sense of direction). We had perfect weather, always sunny, no rain. We found little out of the way places, not on the "schedule" and Maggie's excitement got me to stop and enjoy things I never would have, had she not been there. It's great to see Ireland through the eyes of a twenty year-old. Through shouts of "left, left, left," we only drove on the wrong side one time.
The Dingle Peninsula was straight from the brochures. I found the B&B that Joe and I had stayed in 9 years ago. Wonderful Irish hospitality and homemade scones. Then we left the slow lane for Dublin. My mother always dragged me to things so I could say I'd done them. Maggie has now seen Dublin and had scones at Bewley's. Along the way, there was a stop at the Guinness Brewery, for medicinal purposes only.
And, we ended the trip watching Ireland win the Grand Slam Rugby play-offs. (So much better than American football.) Suffice it to say we packed a lot into four days. But the best thing, was traveling with and sharingg Ireland with Maggie. I love her dearly.

Another list . . .

A friend sent me this; I thought it was worth sharing. . .


An Angel says, 'Never borrow from the future. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice.'

1. Pray
2. Go to bed on time.
3. Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.
4. Say No to projects that won't fit into your time schedule, or that will compromise your mental health.
5. Delegate tasks to capable others.
6. Simplify and unclutter your life.
7. Less is more.. (Although one is often not enough, two are often too many.)
8. Allow extra time to do things and to get to places.
9. Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time; don't lump the hard things all together.
10. Take one day at a time.
11. Separate worries from concerns. If a situation is a concern, find out what God would have you do and let go of the anxiety . If you can't do anything about a situation, forget it.
12. Live within your budget; don't use credit cards for ordinary purchases.
13. Have backups; an extra car key in your wallet, an extra house key buried in the garden, extra stamps, etc.
14. K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut). This single piece of advice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble.
15. Do something for the Kid in You everyday.
16. Carry a Bible with you to read while waiting in line.
17. Get enough rest.
18. Eat right.
19 Get organized so everything has its place.
20. Listen to a tape while driving that can help improve your quality of life.
21. Write down thoughts and inspirations.
22. Every day, find time to be alone. REPEAT...every day, FIND time to be alone.
23. Having problems? Talk to God on the spot. Try to nip small problemsin the bud. Don't wait until it's time to go to bed to try and pray.
24. Make friends with Godly people.
25. Keep a folder of favorite scriptures on hand.
26. Remember that the shortest bridge between despair and hope is often a good 'Thank you Jesus .'
27. Laugh.
28. Laugh some more!
29. Take your work seriously, but not yourself at all.
30. Develop a forgiving attitude (most people are doing the best they can).
31. Be kind to unkind people (they probably need it the most).
32. Sit on your ego.
33. Talk less; listen more.
34. Slow down.
35. Remind yourself that you are not the general manager of the universe..
36 Every night before bed, think of one thing you're grateful for that you've never been grateful for before.
GOD HAS A WAY OF TURNING THINGS AROUND FOR YOU.

'If God is for us, who can be against us?'

(Romans 8:31)

What makes a friend?

What makes a friend? Off the top of my head I would probably list such things as shared experiences, trust, similar passions . . .. I look at my current girlfriends, and we have those things in common. I'm blessed with friends from high school but not so many from college. I have friends from my previous work environment, but I don't talk to them often. And, I have friends in San Antonio with whom I share hobbies, shopping and just spending time.

But I'm in Louisville right now at a big yearly militaria show that my husband lives for. It's his chance to laugh and tell funny stories with other guys who collect items from Imperial Germany (spiked helmets and such). Rather like a Diva weekend.

There are two other wives that come along. We are as different as can be. I'm the oldest; retired, etc. Another wife lives in a rural area and grinds her own flour from wheat, shears sheep and cards it to spin; and the other has been a pre-school teacher for twenty years. What we have in common is our husbands'love of collecting.

Once again, we're together. We have breakfast at 0945 at the La Quinta (right before they clean it up) and plan our day. On Day One, it's getting vittles for our husbands and taking them to the show; the guys appear to have invited everyone to stop by for sandwiches. That done, we have lunch, shop at consignment stores and Target, take naps and buy beer for the inevitable pizza party on Thurs, etc. I'm still fascinated with wheat grinding and sheep sheering as a way of life. We couldn't be more different. Our passions are different, we have no shared experiences except for once a year with our husbands. And yet, we are friends. Why? No particular reason, except we are friends. I learn so much from them and love them dearly.

Here's a toast to girlfriends - although we don't know why. We just feel that they are vital to life.

Another look at yesterday. . . from one of those recurring emails.

Black and White
(Under age 40? You won't understand.)

I saw this email awhile ago but just got it today again. Lots of memories of all the fun things we did way back when. And we're all OK today. So here goes.


You could hardly see for all the snow, Spread the rabbit ears as far as they go. Pull a chair up to the TV set,
'Good Night, David. Good Night, Chet.'

My Mom used to cut chicken, chop eggs and spread mayo on the same cutting board with the same knife and no bleach, but we didn't seem to get food poisoning. My Mom used to defrost hamburger on the counter AND I used to eat it raw sometimes, too. Our school sandwiches were wrapped in wax paper in a brown paper bag, not in ice-pack coolers, but I can't remember getting e.coli.

Almost all of us would have rather gone swimming in the lake instead of a pristine pool (talk about boring), no beach closures then.

The term cell phone would have conjured up a phone in a jail cell, and a pager was the school PA system. We all took gym, not PE .. and risked permanent injury with a pair of high top Ked's (only worn in gym) instead of having cross-training athletic shoes with air cushion soles and built in light reflectors. I can't recall any injuries but they must have happened because they tell us how much safer we are now. Flunking gym was not an option .. even for stupid kids! I guess PE must be much harder than gym.

Speaking of school, we all said prayers and sang the national anthem, and staying in detention after school caught all sorts of negative attention. We must have had horribly damaged psyches. What an archaic health system we had then. Remember school nurses? Ours wore a hat and everything. I thought that I was supposed to accomplish something before I was allowed to be proud of myself...

I just can't recall how bored we were without computers, Play Station, Nintendo, X-box or 270 digital TV cable stations.
Oh yeah ... and where was the Benadryl and sterilization kit when I got that bee sting? I could have been killed!
We played 'king of the hill' on piles of gravel left on vacant construction sites, and when we got hurt, Mom pulled out the 48-cent bottle of Mercurochrome (kids liked it better because it didn't sting like iodine did) and then we got our butt spanked.
Now it's a trip to the emergency room, followed by a 10-day dose of a $49 bottle of antibiotics, and then Mom calls the attorney to sue the contractor for leaving a horribly vicious pile of gravel where it was such a threat.

We didn't act up at the neighbor's house either because if we did, we got our butt spanked there and then we got butt spanked again when we got home. I recall Donny Reynolds from next door coming over and doing his tricks on the front stoop, just before he fell off. Little did his Mom know that she could have owned our house. Instead, she picked him up and swatted him for being such a goof. It was a neighborhood run amuck. To top it off, not a single person I knew had ever been told that they were from a dysfunctional family..
How could we possibly have known we needed to get into group therapy and anger management classes? We were obviously so duped by so many societal ills that we didn't even notice that the entire country wasn't taking Prozac! How did we ever survive?

LOVE TO ALL OF US WHO SHARED THIS ERA, AND TO ALL WHO DIDN'T. SORRY FOR WHAT YOU MISSED. I WOULDN'T TRADE IT FOR ANYTHING.

Sage Advice

Laundry List for Life



Written By Regina Brett of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio to celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolls over to 90 in August, so here goes:


1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will. Stay in touch.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.