When in Rome . . .

I decided to forego the usual sights; I mean once you've seen St Peter's, how interesting can the rest be. The Trevi Countain is overrated - OK, I'm just being cute. But, based on my upbringing in a funeral home, I decided to tour the catacombs. What a disappointment! I wanted to see bones and skulls and stuff. Ooops. Wrong catacombs. We saw a sterilized version and then back on the bus. Then off the bus, then back on the bus, then off the bus. And, so the day went. We did visit the summer village of the Pope. Casel Gondolfo - a lovely little village with a great fresh bread store where I availed myself of some hot fresh bread that was a tad salty and crunchy. Then off to lunch. it was billed as a farm house but was really a high-priced B&B. Two of the tour rats helped to make the pasta and then we devoured a fairly good lunch. Of course, anything you eat off the ship is fairly good compared to food on the ship. The tour guide was great; she had bronchitis and kept coughing and sneezing into the mike. Oh yes, and even though the tour said it was along the Appian Way, what they really meant was along the new Appian Way, which is a four-lane highway. The bus did slow for pictures as we crossed the old Appian Way. I hope I remember what the picture is when I get home.

Monte Carlo

Well, we survived a storm on the way to Barcelona - 77 mile an hour winds and 16 foot seas. Time for a patch, green apples and ginger. Joe's scooter came on board, and he's happy exploring. I went into Monte Carlo and had a great croque monsieur and a glass of wine (it was vinegar not long ago). Then into the Grand Casino and what to my wondering eyes should appear but the ever lucrative meerkats. I put 10 Euros in and in a matter of about four minutes was able to cash out with .20 Euros. It'll make a great scrapbook addition. We're back in the closet, but I had them take all the bed-making stuff out of the drawers and bring me a clothes rack. Can't wait til we set sail for Livorgno, then i can get back to my favorite little meerkats. Obviously French snootiness has attached itself to the meerkats in Monoco. Au revoir.

I have just got ot get a grip . . .

There are a few positive things happening on this cruise, but I am overwhelmed with how inaccessible it is. We went to a pub crawl the other night and I won a lighted glass cause I was the oldest one there, which is certainly not to imply that I am the oldest one on the ship. We visited four different bars and savored a variety of fruity drinks. The casino staff is really friendly and always encouraging. Gee, wonder why but we've been very lucky at the craps table and a totally addicting slot machine consisting of meerkats and another with lemings. Today is Livorgno, tomorrow Barcelona, then back to our crackerbox for the remainder of the cruise. But our new travel agent (not the one who booked this stupid ship) has been able to get Joe and electric scooter tomorrow all the way to Ft Lauderdale.

The weather's turned cool (cold when you don't have enough warm clothes) and rainy. Some cheery sort just told us a bad storm was brewing and it was going to be ugly tonight. That's OK, I still have a supply of Transderm patches. Yesterday I visited some catacombs and the Pope's summer palace. And I found a oven-grilled bread store. Yummy.

There are some fun people on board. A young couple on their honeymoon share our disgust with the food and tours. Misery loves copany regardless of the age. Well, think I'll go sit in the hydrotherapy pool and warm up. There are worse options.

Second Leg

Things have gone down hill since we left Celebrity. Handicaapped water taxis, a broken electric wheelchair, exhorbitant manual wheelchair rental. poorly organized ground crew, disgusting room, inaccessible swimming pools, mediocre food, but hey, we're cruising in the Mediterranean.

There are a few items that I don't send to the laundry - mostly underwear - but I've always put it on the verandah to dry. The Aegean Sea is apparently a little windier than most because my La Mystere bra ended up on the verandah two doors down - the one belonging to two gay guys. The stateroom steward got a great chuckle as did the neighbors. My job is to keep people amused.

I've checked the boxes for Croatia (Dubrovnik is a beautiful walled city that is clean and grafitti-free) and Albania (remnants of Communist poverty in abundance) and Santorini. There was only our ship in port and the cities were packed. The next day there were supposed to be seven - that should be disgusting.

I'm going to try accupunture from a wholeistic practitioner from Austin, TX. My trust level is high.

Athens

After a day's rest at sea, we docked in Pirreaus and I took a trip to the Acropolis - one of those things you just are supposed to do if it's your first trip to Athens. Been there, done that. I appreciate the fact that they're trying to preserve the structure, but it's really being rebuilt. And, the last time they preserved it, they did it incorrectly, so now are fixing previous mistakes. Next time I'll go to Corinth. My knees went on strike after four days of climbing. And what to my wondering eyes should appear, but no Motrin. I found all sorts of little stuff that didn't get packed. Urghhhh. And all sorts of stuff that I could do without. So, I've convinced a great couple that we met to take my rolling carry-on home with them to Colorado Springs to be collected at some later date. I'm not sure what I was thinking, or maybe more importantly, I wasn't thinking. I feel lighter already. Today, we're in Messina, tomorrow at sea, and then into Rome before flying to Venice. We still have four weeks left. Good grief. What were we thinking.

One more for the Bucket List

Egypt greeted us with high 90s and sun, lots of sun. Our tour guide met us as promised and we were off to Cairo. A great guide - he filled us in on the history of the Upper and Lower Kingdom. We headed for the Giza Pyramids only to discover that the wheelchair they provided for Joe was broken. When he put his feet on the footrests, they fell to the ground. As usual, he was undeterred. This was the highlight of the cruise for him. I crawled into the Great Pyramid and had the obligatory pictures taken. The, off for a camel ride. Having a guide is a good thing. It seems culturally, that Egyptians make the most of any opportunity to get money. Of course, when you see the poverty all around it's understandable. The camel owner led me off and then turned over the rains to one of Oliver Twist's small crooks. He told me a tip of $5-10 would be appropriate. (I'd left all money in the van.) After several charming photos, he pocketed my camera. Being of sound mind, I wasn't going to argue - I'm on top of a tall camel, afterall. The guide met us when I returned and I asked he could tip the small thief and he said he would take care of it. I pointed out that my camera was in his pocket, which earned him a swat from the camel owner. Then there was face-saving ministrations.

We then checked into the hotel - a beautiful old British hotel. (Always go for 5 stars in Egypt.) They upgraded us to a room with a pyramid view. There was nothing between us and the Great Pyramid but a few palm trees and a narrow road. The view was worth every penney. Supper was meager as we were concerned about what was safe to eat and what wasn't. The sign in the bathroom saying not to ingest the tap water was our first clue. I left Joe to nap and went to the light show, which was beautiful. The next morning, after eating granola with no milk, it was off to Sakkara as well as the Alabaster Mosque built by Mohammed Ali. After a stifling visit to the Egyptian Museum, we set off for Alexandria. The state of the museum is disheartening. No air conditioning, thousands of artifacts in old glass cases, an elevator that barely works - certainly not the Smithsonian. I think a perfect setting for a third "Night in the Museum" movie.

One thing that we did notice is that (like Bangkok), everywhere we stopped, the guide simply motioned to some guys standing about and they all pitched in to lift Joe out of the van or carry his wheelchair up or down steps. Try that in Atlanta. Where did we lose sight of common courtesy? We returned safely to Alexandria after a death-defying stop in the middle of the highway because the driver was waiting for something. Another car drove up, parked in front of us (again, remember this is on a four-lane highway with no shoulder) and gave the driver a package which turned out to be a stuffed camel for me. Joe, who hates camels, was nonplussed.

Whew!!

Jerusalem seems a distant memory. The second day included a trip to Palestinian Bethlehem. And, of course, to shop in a store run by Christians. The tour guide explained that it's important to support the Christians in Bethlehem or they'll leave Bethlehem to the Muslims. Hmmmm. There was a different feeling in Bethlehem. Rushed, pushed, . . .. Then back to the Old City of Jerusalem. In restrospect, the Garden of Gethsemene had the most impact. A quiet oasis in the heat of the continuing struggle between Jews and Palestinians. We returned late in the day to the ship and collapsed - only to get ready the next day for an overnight trip to Egypt.